The Ear, The Fan, and The Alien Invasion

Background: A while back I had to get an MRI of my brain because the ENT Dr. thought I had polyps on my ear nerve. This turned out not to be the case, but I did discover that I have an amazingly sexy looking brain. Afterwards they said that any subsequent sinus/ear infections could further escalate the hearing loss in my left ear. Fantastic.

Fast forward several years to a recent bout with a sinus infection from hell and acute bronchitis. By the time I had recovered my left ear was practically useless. I couldn’t even hear a q-tip being inserted. The weeks went by and I kept thinking it would come back. After about 5 + weeks I’d given up hope.

Nothing sounded the same. Even with the TV volume on 30 I had to stop and ask Hubby what was said. My music sounded odd because the sliver of range left was on the high end so it was like a constant static. Depression stalked me.

One Saturday, during garage saleing with the Hubbster, we talked and agreed to call the ENT to see if there was anything that could be done to salvage my hearing and thus my sanity.

That night I woke to a bizarre sound. The fan was making a horrible warbling noise. I jumped up and thumped it. No change. I shook it and glared. No change. I turned it off and Hubby woke up.

Hubby: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Aliens have invaded the fan. Can’t you hear that noise?”

Of course that’s what one thinks first off when there is a terrible noise in the middle of the night, aliens have come. Right?

When I spoke the sound in my head reverberated like I’d shouted inside a bell. This was it. I was having a mental break down. I ran to the bathroom thinking somehow this would help. Plus that’s where my book was and if I was going to have a mental break down then by crikey I was going to finish that last chapter.

That wasn’t so helpful. So I went back and thumped the fan again.

Me: “Can’t you hear that?”

Hubby: “I don’t hear anything different.”

Then it dawned on me. When I turned my left ear towards the fan I heard WARBLE, WARBLE, WARBLE. When I turned my right ear towards the fan I heard wooooooooooosh. Well SON OF A…. Biscuit!! I could hear again…. And wow could I hear.

The next morning I kept asking Hubby why things were so loud, poor dear.

In fact, I think our first conversation in the morning went something along the lines of.

Me: “Why am I stomping?”

Hubby: “That’s how you always sound.”

Me: “No, no, I’m quiet, stealthy dwarf, not clompy, elephant dwarf.”

Hubby: “Uh huh.”

Me: “Why are you shouting at me?”

Hubby: “I’m not.”

Me: “Don’t yell, I just asked a question.”

Hubby: “Oh boy, are you going to be like this all day?”

Me: “Probably.”

And I was.

This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Ear, The Fan, and The Alien Invasion

  1. Candy says:

    This story had me in tears when you told it to me. I just LOVE this story. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s